DIVORCE: CRISIS THAT HAS NO LIMITS – I
One day I went to visit a friend in her office, and while waiting for her, I began to chat with her secretary. It was during a lunch-break so I engaged her in a discussion on marriage. I tried to ask few questions about her plans for the future, specifically her dreams about the man she would love to marry. Initially she was very relaxed during the interaction, but as the discussion progressed, I noticed that her countenance changed and she was no longer interested in our discussion. I then asked her what happened that she suddenly became withdrawn. She told me pointedly, “In all honesty I have no plans for marriage.” She said further, “I am alright with my single state, what do I need a husband for. All men are hypocrites after all. I would rather face my future without any intimate relationship with any man, called husband. I am o.k”
At this point I sensed that I had met a lady who probably had been hurt or had faced disappointments from some men in the past, so instead of changing the subject of our discussion I asked about her family background. How are your parents? I asked. They are fine, she replied. Are your parents living together? I asked further. She wanted to weep but she controlled her tears. After noticing this change of emotion, I inquired further what happened to her parents, and she began to share with me the pains of separation between her dad and mum, and the negative impact it was having on her and her siblings. You can not imagine what happened to me after my parents divorced.
Tell me more, I pressed further. She continued her story, “I was an undergraduate at the university then and my dad asked my siblings and I to leave his house with our mum, while he stopped paying our school fees. Two of my siblings were at the polytechnic while the youngest one was preparing to resume at the university for his first year of study. I asked her, so how then did you manage to complete your studies? She replied, It is needless to tell you that I struggled on my own to complete my studies, with the assistance of some friends, but mummy managed to help the others to pull through their schools from her meager resources. By this time she could no longer hold back her tears. Her red shot eyes spoke volumes, and she said in a low tone, “I have taken a stance against getting married in life, I can not allow any man to treat me the way my father treated my mother.”