6 Cs OF RESOLUTION TO MARRIAGE CONFLICTS
In marriage relationships, challenges abound! Some manage them well, others chicken out because of frustration. In dealing with conflicts in marriage, the couple must take cognizance of certain things. An old wise man once told me during an interview that whenever there is any misunderstanding between him and his wife, the way God has been helping them is simple, “while daddy is the goat, mummy becomes a sheep, and vice-versa!” What he was trying to say is that both of them do not lose their temper at the same time and blow off the roof of the house. Anger is a deadly weapon. One partner should not flare up in anger and utter terrible words that he or she will regret afterwards. Calm down. Flee from anger. Lie down on your bed and begin to talk to God your father in heaven, to help you resolve the conflict at such a time. PEACE
Whenever there’s misunderstanding between husband and wife, they must be ready to come low. Both partners can not be claiming rights at such times. Stoop Low. Be Humble as you relate with your spouse. I strongly believe that no couple really enjoy fighting with each other especially when they both have relationships with the creator God. In marriage conflicts, the goal should always be to resolve the issues amicably. Embrace humility and it shall be well with you.
CONFESS IN LOVE
Spouses do have differences in several areas. Opinions may differ, belief systems may not always tally especially if one is a theologian while the other is not too much into theological discourses. When conflicts arise both of them must be ready to confess first to God, that “Lord, I am sorry for this crisis,” then secondly to each other as intimate partners. Talk to each other in love. Forgive as God has forgiven you, no matter how deep the hurts, and say to your spouse, “I love you my dear. Let us not give place to the devil again.” When couples learn to forgive one another, no one will consider divorce. Think always about your relationship with God, and the future of those special Gifts God gave to you.
CARE FOR THOSE ‘WEAKNESSES’
This has to do with accepting each other’s weak points in love. Not that you approve of them, but spouses should love enough to forgive and correct each other as friends.
Spouses should always communicate and learn to express their feelings. Do not save “Emotional Trading Stamps” (i.e. cataloguing all his/her mistakes in your imagination). Learn to express yourself in love.
Married couples should make up their minds not to disappoint each other in this sacred relationship that is ordained by God Himself at the garden of Gethsemane. Spiritual attacks will manifest sometimes in physical forms such as a sudden dislike of your spouse; situational crisis that may make one feel like quitting the relationship; interruption by a third –party in form of an intruder. Whatever may be the case the couple should prayerfully stick together remembering the fact that God has joined them together to become one whole. Be committed till death brings about the separation. For this to happen each party must play his or her part. In present times awareness of domestic violence is on the increase. Our society must keep crying out against this barbaric act of battering women. In few cases women have been reported to be beating up their husbands, which is an anomaly. This should stop. We can all join hands together and with the help of God restore sanity to the institution of family, whereby husbands and wives will live together in unity and be truly committed to each other.